10 Week Countdown

Our Bella has hit her 30 week mark today, and I cannot believe it. In 10 weeks our little peanut princess is going to be here. I have so much left that I need to get done, and I am starting to feel a little bit overwhelmed, but only because I want everything to be perfect for her. We still need to go get her a swing, stroller/carseat system, crib, and changing table...YIKES! I know we can do this, though. We just need to take things one step at a time and stay focused. I know in my heart that we are going to bring her home to a lovely nursery and a warm little home.
It's incredible how conneced I am to Bella now. Every move she makes, every hiccup, every dance routine...I feel and experience each second of it. I love talking to her and having her wiggle back in response. She is such a happy, active girl in the mornign when we wake up, and she jumps for joy when I sing to her. As hard as this pregnancy has been on my body, I am truly enjoying my alone with her. Pregnancy has been such a journey, and I know that there is so much more to come in this final stretch. Oh Bella...you're all that's on your Mommy's mind.

Bella's big party

My baby shower was beautiful. So, so beatuiful. June 26th ended up being a GORGEOUS day to be in the park celebrating a little Bella that is quickly on her way. I had a cake of lavender, delicate pink roses and balloons, and princess tissue paper everywhere. You could feel Bella's little bedazzle all around us.
There was enough food to feed a village, or in other words, a VERY pregnant woman and all of her dainty friends. The main dish I wanted was fried chicken (how classy) and I had several different kinds of salads including my mom's candy caramel apple salad, and my mother-in-law's famous potato salad. YUM! There was also fresh fruit and veggies to munch on in the hot sun, and the perfect pink lemonade. I was in heaven, and so were all my guests.
I was delighted to see all of my closest friends and family around me and excited to celebrate our Bella. Spencer's grandma came and it was precious to have her come to me and whisper how excited she was. My belly had hands covering it all day, and Bella got a little shy..I was hoping she would but on a dance recital for everyone to feel, but all the new voices kept her pretty quiet. We talked, and laughed, and daydreamed about Bella. Who would she look like? How much would she weigh when she is born? Imagining all the fun things we would do for her. It warmed my heart to have such a big group of people excited over MY little girl. She so incredibly loved.
Bella got spoiled and everyone really put a lot of thought and love in their kind words and and pretty wrapped gifts. I kept all of the cards that came with the gifts and I am going to put them in her baby book. Getting all of these lovely things for her really made me realize how much she needs and how quickly she is truly coming! Precious outfits, bottles, diapers, baby bathwash, and soft blankies. My mom even got her the pack-n-play we wanted for her. I was shocked and so thankful! We still have quite a few things to get for her, but all the help we got from her friends and family was more than we could ever ask for.
I also made a book for Bella filled with cutesy, girly embellishments on each page so people could pick out their favorit ones, and write a message to little Bella. Going through and being able to read what people wrote. Everyone had their own special message and way of expressing their thoughts to her, but one thing they all had in common is how much they wanted her to know they loved her. An overwhelming sense of joy washes over me each time I look through it.
When the shower came to an end, and people began to leave, I was covered in hugs, kisses, belly rubs, and congratulations. All of these loving and positive words of encouragement just made me feel so proud of becoming a mommy. All of my peers were glowing for me and anxiously awaiting our little arrival. I am so lucky to have a mom and mother-in-law who wanted to throw me such a perfect shower, and give me the opportunity to be celebrated as a mama. My shower is a day I will never forget.

Tomorrow's Baby Shower!

My mom's are throwing my baby shower tomorrow, and I can't believe it is already here! I went out and got a dress, pretty shoes, and am going to try my best to look and feel pretty. Hopefully that 'maternal glow' will shine through.
I am getting very excited, especially since I have my best friend here to be my date, but I must admit that I am a little nervous. I am going to have a group of people that I love the most all around me, and will be the center of attention..WOW..what a thought! But under all the anxiety, I am just tickled that everyone wants to be there to celebrate our little Bella.
I am so thankful that my mom has worked so hard to put on this shower for me. I look forward for all the beautiful decorations and food she has put together, and also can't wait to see what my mother-in-law brings! Yummy food galore! I am so blessed.

27 weeks!

My little Bella isn't so little in this belly of mine anymore. SHEESH! 27 weeks as of yesterday, and this little dancer of mine is REALLY starting to make herself known. Today was her wildest of days and I couldn't help but giggle all day at work while my belly wiggled and rocked back and forth. My bellybutton is almost completely popped out and I am starting to get my belly line. I'm not even going to BEGIN to talk about these new boobies..I am busting out of bras left and right and THAT is nothing I have ever experienced before. Wow.
Spencer and I painted Bella's nursery this Saturday with his mama. The color is called gentle gem, and it is a gorgeous soft lavender. Lots of people give their baby girls pink bedrooms, but we wanted our princess to have something different. Sure, she will love pink just as every little girl does, but just like her mama, she will prefer pearls over diamonds any day. Painting those walls really made me realize how quickly this is all happening. Sure, we have lots of furniture to get for that nursery, but adding that splash of color made the room hers. This is a room for our Bella.
Our mamas are giving me my baby shower this Saturday, and I am getting more and more excited for it. I am nervous to be the center of attention, but excited to see all of my favorite ladies and celebrate this new little lady in my life. I feel so thankful that my family loves me enough to give me a party, and even more tickled that so many people want to be a part of preparing for my Bella. Gosh..this baby is loved already by so many people. It's incredible.

Your Daddy

Bella Bean,
You have so many people excited for your arrival, and already loving you so much. Between family and friends, you have quite the welcoming committee counting down the days until we can show you off for your big opening number. I think the person that is most anxious for you to get here is your Daddy. Of course, I am excited as your Mommy to have you here and hold you in my arms, but I am lucky because I get you all to myself all day long. I get to feel your little kicks and hiccups, not to mention your wild dance routines..so you are always with me..but your Daddy only gets to feel you once we get home from work and you wake up from your naps.
Let me tell you a little bit about your Daddy. First and foremost, he gave me you, and for that, he is the most precious person in my life aside from you. Your Daddy showed me what it means to love someone with no boundaries, and how to live every day with a purpose and a glow.
Daddy is one of the people who always knows how to make me laugh, no matter how hard I may have been crying only moments before. I think he is going to get lots and lots of giggles out of you. He loves to make people smile, and proves to all those around him that he is genuine at heart. Daddy gives lots of his closest friends advise, not because he wants to, but because they come to him for it. This is because he listens with is heart and not with his mind.
Your Daddy is a dreamer, and wild about chasing all of his ambitions with his eyes closed, once again following that heart of his. He is bright-eyed and willing to fall down as many times as he needs to in order to succeed. That is something that I hope you learn from him and carry on through out your life. No matter how scary things may seem, Baby, be sure to listen to your heart despite the deep waters. Your Daddy will help you hold your head high and nudge you along.
I wish you could see the way your Daddy's face lights up when he feels your little wiggles and dance routines. His eyes light up with all the stars in the sky, and he grins with all his might. You kick so hard when he talks to you and rubs my belly just the way you like it, and every time, his heart melts. He loves to talk to you and kiss you all over through my belly. Daddy calls you his Pandabell, his princess, his angel. He can't wait to spend his life taking care of you, loving you, spoiling you, and protecting you from any harm. He says he most looks forward to taking naps with you, having you curl up on his chest and just being safe in his arms. Daddy gushes about you to his friends and brags about how smart and strong you are getting each day that goes by. He has all of his friends promising to help him look out for you and keep the boys far far away. Oh little Bella..you have lots of watchful eyes on you, and you are so surrounded with undying love.
I want you to have a close relationship with your Daddy, Bella. I want you to rely on him with anything that you have on your plate, good or bad. Laugh with him, play with him, learn from him. Fight wiht him, cry with him, and at the end of the day, dance with him Bella. I'm sure there will be days where you two are furious with each other, but always remember that he is the only Daddy you will ever have and a bond between a father and his baby girl is like no other bond out there. Without him, my litte Bella, there would be no you and I can't imagine this world without something as perfect and beautiful as you.
There are the basics about your Daddy, but there is so much more for you to get to know about him, and I cannot wait to watch your relationship with him blossom. He is the number one man in my life, and I know that he will be the same in yours unitl that day that he has to give you away to the person you want to spend your life with. But even then, Baby..promise you will save the best dance for him.

Hiccup!

Bella Bean got her first set of hiccups while I was getting ready for work this morning. I couldn't help but giggle. At first I thought she was just getting a little bit wild and kicking, but then I realized that each little jump was pretty consistant and sharp. HICCUPS! She would kick between each one almost like she was frustrated and after about five or six minutes, they were all done.
Mama's little princess is getting so big! I love this new discovery and now I can't wait to hear her little hiccups when she has arrived!

Mommy's Tiny Dancer at 25 Weeks.

My time being pregnant has been by far the most wonderful time in my life. I hear a lot of horror stories about women that have to deal with mind-blowing morning sickness, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, etc..but not me. My Bella Bean has been so good to me. The only struggles I have had to face is getting used to a big growing belly. Naturally I know that a belly comes with growing a baby, but always being so petite and slender, it is definitely hard to adjust to none of my clothes fitting and only gaining weight in my tummy. I am always hearing how lucky I am that this is the only place I am gaining weight, so I am trying to keep that in mind. Feeling her dance as much as she does now makes me get over it a little easier, and my oh my does this little girl dance!
My favorite time of the day is when I first wake up in the morning. I have NEVER been a morning girl, and my family can agree with this, but now...each morning is so wonderful. She has her own routine, so she starts to wake me up with her little kicks about half hour before my alarm goes off. Then we get up and take our shower. Bella loves the hot water on my tummy and I feel her do little cart-wheels while I wash my hair. Then we try to quietly tip toe out of our bathroom, through the bedroom where her daddy is still sleeping. Once we get out to the living room, I put on a movie, and blow dry my hair so I can curl it. While my curling iron heats up, I brew our pot of decaf coffee, pour a cup, and take my place back on the floor in front of the mirror to start my hair and makeup. This is when we have our time to talk and play. I push on my tummy and she kicks back. I try to talk to her as much as I can so that she knows my voice and gets to know me even more than she already does. I tell her about her daddy and how excited he is for her to get here. I tell her how special she is, and that I have never been so madly in love with anyone..especially before I even met them. Once I know she is awake and alert, I sing to her.
Bella loves it when I sing. People might think that I am crazy for doing it or thinking that she likes hearing me sing, but every time I do she dances. Not kicks..DANCES! I sing her anything ranging from Jewel to Hootie and the Blowfish to Neil Diamond. But I must say, that when I sing her the song Tiny Dancer by Elton John, she reacts the most. She dances to all of them, but I sing her Tiny Dancer so much that when she hears it, she pulls out her best moves. This is my song for her.
Every year on my birthday, my mom plays me the song Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison and we dance. I am so excited to carry on this tradition with my baby girl, and I know that every year on a crisp September morning, I am going to get out of bed before she wakes up for school, and play that song as loud as I can through the house so I can pull her from her warm covers, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and we will dance. Cutting a rug will never have the same meaning to me anymore, because now I have the best dance partner in the world..she will always be the first girl on my dance card.

Our Little Surprise

Our little Isabella was definitely a surprise to us. I didn't experience any kind of morning sickness so I didn't have much sign that she was even in there. It was our dear friend Marrianne who noticed that I wasn't fitting into my regular size while I was trying on dresses to wear to our engagement party at her boutique. My tummy had grown a teeny little pooch but it was my bust that really wasn't cooperating and while trying to smash them into this to-die-for dress they were incredibly tender. I just figured I was finally filling out (THANK GOD) since I have always been so petite and slender, but not Marrianne. She knew, and she wasn't afraid to scream it at the top of her lungs. Spencer and I in no way thought I could be pregnant, but Marrianne wanted us to prove her wrong and go buy a test if we were so sure that we weren't pregnant. I am a very stubborn person (although I prefer the word feisty) and rarely refuse a challenge, so it was off to Walmart we went.
We laughed through out the entire purchase of the tests, and were still laughing on our way back home. There was just no way that I was having a baby. I rarely even ovulated! This was just crazy. So the plan was to take the stupid tests, prove our friend wrong, and then get ready to go out for the night.
We got home and I went straight to our bathroom, turned on my curling iron so I could get ready to go out, and decided I might as well just pee on this little stick. I got the job done, and it said to give it 3-5 minutes for the digital results to appear. I put on the cap to give it some thinking time, but a big clear PREGNANT came across the screen instantly. There was no wait time involved. Stunned, I yelled some profanity to Spencer and told him I was pregnant. I couldn't stop laughing. He was in the bathroom with me quicker than he has ever moved before, and told me to start drinking some orange juice because I was going to take the other tests. I drank and drank, and then it was time for the truth..I took the other test and again, it was an instant result. PREGNANT, loud and clear. We were expecting a baby!!!
After all was said and done, we stood in our hallway and just stared at each other. Neither one of us could stop smiling, and then the tears starting flowing..the happiest tears either one of us had ever cried. I snuggled in his arms and we just basked in this overwhelming love we just found. I turned off that curling iron, put on my slippers, and just wanted to be home in our nest, with my wonderful man and this beautiful little surprise we created growing in my belly. This was the greatest gift that Spencer had ever given me..the gift of being a Mommy.

The Beginning of a Fairytale

This blog is ultimately to write about my journey to Mommyhood and my precious Bella growing in my belly, but there would be no Bella for us without the man in my life and the love that we have. So, I think that it is important to recognize our story right from the get-go.
I met my prince charming in January of 2007 at the bank we were both working for at the time. It was my first day of training, and I knew not a soul in Salem since I had just moved there with my family from Albany that previous November. I was walking towards my training class, and there he was, coming in to start his shift for the day. I know it is cliche and you hear it all the time, but it was love at first sight. Everything went into slow motion and he was the only person I could see in that crowded hallway. I was love struck, and to confirm the emotion running through my veins I ran right into a concrete pillar, planting me flat on my rear in front of this large crowd. Mortified and confused, I looked up at him, felt the fire in my cheeks and throbbing head, and ran into my training room with my tail between my legs. Despite my humiliation, and the goose egg on my noggin, I was hooked and I never looked back. We exchanged phone numbers a few days later, and from there it was history.
We couldn't get enough of each other's conversation and would stay up until 3 am on the phone just getting to know more about one another. We had so much in common, and at the same time were worlds apart on other topics; that was never a fear for me though because I wanted to learn from him and also teach him about some of my own passions. I loved that he was a photographer with a free spirit, and my poetry and paintings kept him guessing. Two artists make beautiful colors together.
He began taking me on dinner dates, keeping things slow, but as soon as he started introducing me to his friends and family, I knew this was it. There was never a doubt in my mind, no matter how afraid of commitment he was, that we would get married someday. It's true when they say that you just know when you have found the one.
Through the last few years Spencer has had to take on a lot of new responsibility with becoming my beau. Not only in being my support during hard times, but also in being open to help my family when the time called for it..and most of the time those calls came at 2 in the morning. I have a younger brother who is autistic and we have climed mountains to get him where he is today. One of Taylor's fall backs was fleeing when he began to flood with any kind of emotion, usually being anger, frustration, or confusion. Autism will never be fully understood, but one thing that we all understood about Tay is that he could run, and he could run far. Spencer found a special place in his heart for Taylor, and each and every time he ran, Spencer was the first one out on the streets to look for him. He would search for hours and always coax Taylor to climb in his jeep and take him where he needed to go. Sometimes that meant home, and other times it meant to a hospital to keep him safe.
As heartbreaking as it was to see my brother and my parents go through such a saddening stress, it was situations like these that made me look at Spencer in a whole different light and really fall in love with that man in the driver's seat. Most boyfriends would be put off by such a situation, but not Spencer. He wanted nothing more than to be there with open arms and even more, an open heart.
We went on a trip to Disneyland with Spencer's family this last October, and it was a trip I will never forget. All 18 of us flew down, stayed at a gorgeous little hotel, and spent 3 days in the happiest place on earth. We walked around all of the streets of Disney just so happy and full of light. As family oriented as the park is, I feel that Disney adds an element of classic romance to any day you spend there with the one that you love. Spencer proved that, and on October 22nd Spencer asked me to grow old with him and be his wife in front of Cinderella's castle. He knew that was my dream, and he made sure it came true. I cried, and I laughed, and I jumped into his arms like I never have before. I took in every element of that moment. The smells of the warm air and hot churros for sale. The sounds of laughing children running to the next world and find their favorite character. Feeling Spencer whisper into my ear that he loves me more than anything in the whole wide world, and that I am his hummingbird. To this day, I still get chills.
As thankful as I am for becoming a mommy, I am first thankful that I found my Spencer. I am thankful to fall asleep on his chest every night hearing his heartbeat and feel his fingers in my hair, and I smile every morning waking up to him snuggled at my side with his hand on my growing belly. This is the man who taught me how to live and not simply exhist. I learned the true ways of love, and what it feels like to have someone love you no matter how frizzy your hair is when you wake up. I love knowing he is my Daddy Bear and I am his Hummingbird. But most of all, I love knowing that after all these years of holding my hand and walking as two, he is going to be the man on the other side of our little Bella holding her hand and walking as three.